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8 reguli de care sa tii cont atunci cand te desparti de cineva
 
Relatia voastra a ajuns intr-un impas, asa ca ai decis sa pui capat lucrurilor. Nu iti poti scuti partenerul de suferinta si dezamagirea pe care o aduce o despartire, insa sunt lucruri care te vor ajuta sa previi situatii neplacute. Iata 8 reguli de care trebuie sa tii cont atunci cand te desparti de cineva.






Regula nr. 1: Nu alege calea cea mai usoara


Te-ai gandit ca ti-ar fi mai usor daca i-ai da papucii partenerului via e-mail sau sms. Intr-adevar, este calea cea mai usoara, dar la urma urmei, cum crezi ca se va simti persoana de care vrei sa te desparti?


Asuma-ti responsabilitatea pentru faptele tale si nu actiona intr-un mod atat de las. In plus, comunicarea prin mesaje risca intotdeauna sa fie inteleasa gresit, asa ca ceea ce scrii poate fi folosit, la un moment dat, impotriva ta.

Regulile unei despartiri le impune si tipul de relatie pe care l-ai avut, dar ar fi mai indicat sa iti tratezi fostul partener cu consideratie si sa ii dai cel putin aceasta veste fata in fata.

Regula nr. 2: Fii sensibil la problemele partenerului


Daca partenerul tau trece prin momente dificile, probabil ca te intrebi dca este intr-adevar cel mai bun moment pentru a te desparti. Intr-adevar, tu abia astepti sa te desparti pentru ca nu mai poti sta in aceasta relatie, insa partenerul tau are probleme, asa ca va trebui sa continui sa pretinzi ca totul este bine, desi pentru tine situatia devine insuportabila.

Pe de alta parte, atunci cand avem probleme, ultimul lucru pe care ni-l dorim este sa mai pierdem si persoana pe care o avem alaturi. Asadar, care este raspunsul potrivit?

Cel mai bine ar fi sa pui lucrurile in balanta, sa cantaresti situatia partenerului vis-a-vis de dorinta ta de a te desparti si sa decizi care dintre acestea doua poate suferi o amanare. Spre exemplu, daca partenerul tau tocmai a suferit un deces in familie, atunci nu este chiar cel mai potrivit moment penrtu a rupe orice legatura. Daca situatia nu este insa foarte grava, nu poti amana o despartire, pentru ca in ritmul acesta nu vei mai pune capat relatiei niciodata.

Regula nr. 3: Clarifica lucrurile


Poate ca tu deja te simti despartit de partener, insa nu ai mai apucat sa ii mai spui si acestuia in ce situatie va aflati. Daca tu ti-ai luat distanta pentru ca ai hotarat sa pui capat lucrurilor, ar fi bine sa iti instiintezi si partenerul de decizia ta. Nu lasa lucrurile undeva suspendate si instiinteaza-ti partenerul ca deja nu mai vezi un viitor in aceasta relatie.

Regula nr. 4: Nu folosi la infinit pretexul : „Ar fi bine sa luam o pauza”

Este de inteles faptul ca vrei sa iei o pauza de la relatia voastra pentru a-ti clarifica sentimentele. Insa o pauza nu este echivalenta cu o despartire. O pauza inca mai pastreaza sanse egale si pentru o impacare. Asadar, ia-ti timp de gandire, dar adu-ti aminte ca va trebui sa pui capat acelei perioade si sa iei o decizie, chiar daca risti ca aceea sa nu fie chiar cel mai intelept lucru pe care l-ai facut.

Regula nr. 5: Recupereaza-ti lucrurile personale


Daca ati locuit impreuna sau daca ai avut obiceiul sa iti mai lasi din lucruri pe la partener si acum le vrei inapoi, nu prelungi prea mult suferinta acestuia si incearca sa le iei pe toate deodata, cat mai repede. Nu este tocmai placut sa ii faci vizite fostului pentru a-ti recupera bunurile personale, mai ales daca acestea au valoare sentimentala. Daca simti ca reintalnirea ar fi mult prea dureroasa, atunci roaga un prieten comun sa te ajute.

Regula nr. 6: Nu te implica intr-o relatie cu prietena/prietenul fostului partener

Cat de usor crezi ca ii va fi fostului vazandu-te cum te intelegi de minune cu unul dintre prietenii vostri comuni? Dragostea intr-adevar nu cunoaste limite, dar dintre toate persoanele, tebuia sa o alegi chiar pe prietena ei? Gandeste-te mai bine daca intra-devar ai sentimente puternice pentru acea persona sau pur si simplu simti nevoia sa ai o noua relatie si vrei sa dai curs unei simple atractii. Dovedeste ca nu esti lipsit de sentimente si reorienteaza-te.

Regula nr. 7: Opreste, pentru o perioada, legaturile cu familia partenerului


Te intelegeai de minune cu mama lui. Daca ai hotarat sa pui capat aceste relatii, nu mai apasa cutitul pe rana si incearca sa iesi din viata lui pentru a-i da timp sa treaca peste aceasta etapa cu bine. Daca vei fi o prezenta constanta, ii va fi destul de greu sa uite ce a fost intre voi. Acelasi lucru este valabil si pentru prietenii ei cu care te intelegeai de minune. Bineinteles, asta nu inseamna ca nu trebuie sa mai iei legatura cu aceste persoane niciodata, insa ar fi indicat sa lasi ca timpul sa vindece ranile.

Regula nr. 8: Nu ii spune ca il mai iubesti, dar ar fi mai bine sa va despartiti


Daca ai impresia ca asa vei indulci un pic situatia, te inseli. Chiar daca undeva, pe acolo, mai pastrezi inca sentimente, ar fi mai bine sa le tii pentru tine. Evita cuvantul „iubire”, pentru ca vei crea confuzie si vei lansa sperante. Desparte-te de partener, dar nu ii explica faptul ca iti este greu sa faci acest pas, asteptand sa fii tu cel consolat. Daca ti-ar fi atat de greu precum pretinzi, nu te-ai mai desparti.
 
   
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